fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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