U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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