Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Text me some of your sweat
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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