I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
