Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My vagina is officially offended.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize