its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
