I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
