that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Sorry about my life...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
