i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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