I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
