He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
