Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
