margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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