real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
