I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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