You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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