In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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