idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
