I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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