hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
