She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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