so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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