What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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