I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
