Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
