I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize