Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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