dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
