do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
