The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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