Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
