i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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