Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize