wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
