So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There's always time for handjobs
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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