Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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