and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
