So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
