who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
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Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
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He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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