Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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