Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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