I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize