the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
