i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
