Soap is not a condiment
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
