So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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