So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
