is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
