i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
