bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Text me some of your sweat
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