JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
