he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
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My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
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he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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