Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
