He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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