You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
