Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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