We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
