who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
third nipple confirmed
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
