Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
