I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
