i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize