Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize