Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
