For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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