So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
