Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND