You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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