Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
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I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
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On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina