i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
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Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
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I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...