this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
