awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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