I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
