He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
