What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
