i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
