if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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