I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
